Excuse Generator

What this generator does

Draws an excuse. It is written to be obviously a joke rather than plausibly usable, which is the only sensible design for a tool like this — the funny ones and the ones that would actually work are not the same list.

What you'll get

This generator draws from a hand-checked list of 25 entries. Here is a spread of 6 of them, so you can see the style before you generate:

• A family of ducks blocked my driveway and refused to negotiate.
• My alarm clock joined a union and went on strike.
• A flock of pigeons held a meeting on my route and it ran long.
• I was calculating exactly how many jellybeans it would take to fill my shoe.
• My smart fridge sent me on a mysterious errand for oat milk.
• I was practising my award-acceptance speech in the mirror and lost track of time.

A fixed sample of the list, not a live draw — your own results are picked at random from all 25, without repeating until the list runs out. Original HEKNO-written absurd, obviously-fictional excuses for entertainment/creative use. Last reviewed 2026-07-29.

How to use this tool

1. Press generate for an excuse.
2. Generate again for a different one.

Common use cases

• A laugh with friends
• Writing or improv-comedy inspiration
• Silly party games

Randomness and fairness

Drawn uniformly with the browser's cryptographic random number generator, so the implausible ones are exactly as likely as the merely improbable ones.

For how randomness is produced across the whole site, see how Generate Random works.

Limitations and good to know

• These are jokes. Using one to get out of something real is likely to work considerably less well than telling the truth.
• Nothing here is tailored to a situation, so a draw may be wildly inappropriate for yours.
• Do not use these with an employer, a school or anyone who can check.